Rod, pictured here dressed as a leopard, is a model train enthusiast, except he calls them “model railroads” just to try and look like he’s down with the kids.

Rod, listen son, you’re 59, got a woman on your arm as good as half your age, and your worth millions – get a life and get out of the attic.

Celeb Watch would certainly be giving Penny’s buffers more attention that the Hornbys.

Whatever next you gravel-voiced goon? Building camps in bed? Midnight feasts? Giggling at words like bum, pants, wee and knockers.