Chest love me for my voice
February 17, 2005
Relentless publicity seeker Jordan is appealing to the public to pick her to be the nation’s Eurovision entry.
Despite not being a singer, having no previous record industry experience and a chest as large as her ego, the former I’m A Celebrity contestant wants us to vote for her – but not for her body.
She told disappointed fans (presumably teenage boys): “I’m not going to try and use my body” (to get selected). To be honest Jordan, that could be a good thing. Beautiful though you undoubtedly are, I’m not sure how boobs that are big enough to hide a poodle in, a strange you’ve been tango’d complexion, bad eye make-up and a Sam Fox wig will help you. Perhaps you could train your hooters to hold the mike, or sing, or some other stunt that would boost your appeal?
And it’s only prudent to remind the page three stunna that the last blonde non-singer who tried to take the Eurovision crown was Samantha Janus, whose disastrous performance lives in the memory even now.