Carey can sing (though her choice of Zippo-waving power ballads are not ones I choose to buy) but then she did the unforgiveable and tried to act.

Houston too has a good voice (so I am reliably informed), but she had to go and spoil it all by releasing ‘The Preacher's Wife'.

And Spears, well Spears did ‘Crossroads', and I have to tell you, settling down in a cosy motel with Lady Diane never seemed so appealing as when I sat through that whimsical nonsense.

Which brings me to Lopez.

While ‘Jenny from the block' may not lose any sleep over harsh words from a lowly hack, I certainly did trying to come to terms with the fact that I parted with six quid to watch this big-bum vehicle.

Goodbye the days of ‘Out Of Sight' —that was Lopez working for love of the industry — and it's hello to the days of ‘do I really have to stay on set for three weeks? Can't I just collect my pay cheque? Oh, and by the way, why isn't my dressing room painted white and filled with dwarves serving Spangles in brandy glasses?!'